the next time you need to be right…

I’m always looking for ways to love in deeper ways.

Especially when I’m challenged by a person I really love, like….my husband.☺

Even when part of me wants to throttle him, I can feel the other pathway, the other possibilities, opening up in front of me. My family history pushes me to take one (not so beautiful) fork in the road, but just by who he is being, someone so very different from me, he can take me down the path less traveled in my heart. Will I take his hand and go with him? I can feel the choices being made, whispers of possibilities, and I watch as I choose…

This time, and this time, and this time, will I take his hand? Or will I go down the rabbit hole of my history?

You know what I mean here, right? You’ve experienced something like this yourself, yes?

He offers me many, many opportunities to put love ahead of being right, above being exasperated, above acting quickly and thoughtlessly.

Sure, these “opportunities” aren’t easy, and not always pleasant, but I appreciate them, and appreciate him for presenting them to me.

It keeps me on the path of breathing, taking my time, holding back knee jerk reactions, noticing things that are subtle but so sweet in what he brings, oh so unexpectedly, to my life.

I used to focus intently on what he wasn’t.  I felt miserable, miserly and mean,(but often right!) and his soul hid from me, banished by my criticism. There may have been “truth” to what I was saying…but…there are layers of truth and the ones I was living were not pretty.

He’s still the same man. But now I can see and feel what he brings to our marriage, which I never knew before! How can that be true? But it was…

“Paying attention is a gift.” Jack Kornfield and Trudy Goodman said that in Maui recently. They spoke of us each being “guests in each other’s lives.”

What kind of a guest are you in the life of someone you care about?

If you are like me, you want to pay attention and be present in your life. You want to be able to feel the opportunities that make us stop, even grind us to a halt, take them in, be aware, and choose consciously.

We can be mayhem in the life of a loved one or an honored guest.

Again, which are you? And is that what you want to be?


Wendy Yellen

The Transformation Acceleration Expert